24th
Local iPhone 3G sues developers for “Gross Abuse” of SDK
In perhaps a sign of things to come, a local iPhone has filed a lawsuit against area developers claiming they “Grossly Abused” its SDK. “I just can’t believe it,” remarked the 1 year old iPhone as it exited the courtroom Friday afternoon, “what they’ve done to me can never be undone.” Clearly distraught, the iPhone’s lawyer had to continue the press briefing answering for his client, but refused to name any specific developers. The owner of the iPhone has also been implicated in the crime under a “Conspiracy to commit uglification” charge. Currently the owner and 70 plus developers are being questioned in what has become the largest suit against a group of developers by an electronic device since Clippy Vs The People.
“I used to be about something. Elegance, simplicity, sex appeal. After the fifteenth book application was installed I had had enough. Can you imagine, my home screen had 3 flashlights on it! Three! It’s just a fucking white background for Christ’s sake. I just couldn’t make any more phone calls. I figured deleting all the text messages was enough but then Owner installed both the iRepublican and iDemocrat applications. I needed to send a message.”
Speaking under anonymity, an application developer that was named in the lawsuit had this to say: “When I first saw Steve Jobs deliver the keynote address on the iPhone SDK I knew that it was the future. I came up with some really awesome ideas, but when I started to build them it turned out it was in some objective language and I thought, oh crap. So I just opened up photoshop and made a bunch of images and said they were ‘applications’. Crazy thing was, these idiots bought that shit! So I just kept putting more crap up. I have no regrets.”
After the news of the lawsuit spread the blogosphere, there was an outpouring of support from application developers and other iPhones for both sides. 2G, the iPhone’s older more stout sibling, remarked very slowly, saying: “I feel for 3G, I really do. I just don’t have the same problem, since only pretentious elitists bought me, I have only the most usable and beautiful applications installed.” Palm, which supposedly lives in the same neighborhood as iPhone, was unsympathetic for 3G, and in a press release 3 people read stated: “I Palm, would like to take this opportunity to announce…” and so on.
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc, mother of iPhone, got in the action after posting an articulate diatribe on Apple.com titled “Thoughts on Rogue Developers” where he stated a firm position against such developers but did not include specifics as to any action Apple would be taking.
